"The Holdout"

Winter is coming. Just step outside, take in a deep breath...you may decide that Winter is actually here.

My family always had hummingbird feeders up in the Summer. We dislike the idea of taking them down in late September, but know that we must because the hummingbirds must go wherever they go before the freeze.

I was taking my feeders down a few weeks ago and had this thought...

The warmth is leaving. The comfort of the sun will soon be masked by gray days only giving us peeks at it's brilliance to keep us going.

I see Summer collecting in bubbles of light and moving on?

For our own good, we (much like the Hummingbirds) must change with the seasons.

They move on as we move inside.

We aren't designed for this atmosphere, at least, I'm not

In this painting, "The Holdout", a loving, but forceful, soul is saying..."it's time to go...for your own good, it's time to go"

but...

sometimes, we are stubborn and settled in because it's familiar and there is sustenance here.

Have you ever stayed too long?

In a job, a relationship, a friendship?

Have you been stuck too long in a mindset, unhealthy habits, a lifestyle?

I am blessed to have carefully curated people in my life whose wisdom comes from above and their grounding is strong and true. They communicate in love, they have my best interests at heart, and care more about where I'm going than where I am. This has been a catalyst for growth as I've moved from one season to another.

I am blessed to have a Husband who is that person, and a small group of women who are those people. One of those women, I've know since the age of 14.

When I'm tempted to stay too long in the familiar, when I get my heels dug in, when I get comfortable and a bit stubborn, when I am "The Holdout", they help me move.

I thank God for my people.

Blessings

Tina

*"The Holdout" is an original mixed media oil painting by Tina Lawver and is available for purchase.

"Finish Well" Part 4 and the Finale of "6 words that changed my art forever"

So, here we are ...at the finale of this little 4 part series that began with the "6 words that changed my art forever"

"Paint the opposite of your pain"

That directive not only changed my art, but changed my heart.

I was coming off of a very difficult situation that sprung from a misunderstanding that was taken a bit too far. Without going into it, I removed myself from it in an effort to allow it to die, but it was kept alive by others. The pain from it was so deep and, as I spoke in the previous entries, pain leaves a residue of lies that I was unintentionally entertaining. If you've ever experienced this, and I believe many of you have, it can be excruciating to deal with when there is literally no resolution in sight. It was affecting everything from sleep to creating, even dealing with family and friends. Even sharing it here, I'm sensing ickiness in my spirit.

That's when my journey really began in putting out into the world the opposite of the pain I felt.

In feeling demonized, I began painting images that edify.

In experiencing rejection, I began creating images that reflected bonds and togetherness

In really getting to the roots of why this one incident brought me down so low, I began creating paintings depicting beauty, nobility, worthiness, magical moments, life giving moments,...saving any photograph that lifted my spirits and creating vision boards with them.

I collected colors, sheens, and materials that even on their own had a message that I could use in a piece.

What I didn't realize that what I was doing at the time was I was surrounding myself with messages that ministered right back to me and the unexpected thing that happened was that in speaking healing over myself, others were being spoken over as well as I shared my artful response to an impossible situation.

There is a special piece that was created during this season where everything that I've spoken about in this series has a part to play in how it was finished.

This piece is pictured here and is entitled "Nobility"

This was created as a "hero" image.

Not what I think of when I see a raven.

I had the experience of being up close and personal with several ravens standing near the South rim of the Grand Canyon one time.

I was annoyed by their scavenging, how they would eat anything and follow us around without concern for their proximity to us. They were kind of dirty and lowly to me, but as someone who really finds beauty in birds and an artist who birds are a favorite subject, my first impressions of a raven was not awesome.

But first impressions aren't actually what's true. Are they?

Conclusions can be made with very little information and those conclusions can lead to destruction.

(going back to conclusions made about me)

In using what had been spoken over my art and changing my focus, I put it into practice in painting. I began researching interesting facts about ravens.

Here are a few...

• Ravens are highly intelligent

• they are skillful hunters

• they can mimic human voices

• they can thrive almost anywhere

• they have the ability to remember faces

I've also been inspired by the story in 1 Kings 17:2-16 where ravens were used by God to feed Elijah. That lead to the painting "Receiving the Assignment" celebrating the moment a lowly, often demonized being was used for a higher purpose.

The moment a seemingly lowly creature received an assignment by God himself. I painted head lifted high, shoulders back, worthiness, a glow, an anointing. It's an image that depicts a calling and a determination to finish his assignment well.

"Receiving the Assignment" (right) was painted 2 years prior to "Nobility" (below)

The difference in process and skill are remarkable, but the message is much the same.

Because of what has been gained in the process of painting the opposite of my pain, I'm a better visual communicator.

I really find it interesting that I am grateful for those painful moments.

Because of what that phrase, "Paint the opposite of your pain", impressed upon me as an artist, I will forever push through my own pain, gleaning from it what is valuable and discarding what is untrue. I will strive to respond and not react.

I pray we battle the lies that cause the hesitation that keeps us from making that first mark. (Part 2)

Somebody out there needs you to do it. I pray we engage in the process keeping the win and the why in mind, knowing that this piece will speak life to someone we may not have even met or may never meet and that it will be a lasting reminder to them that keeps them in process. (Part 3)

and

Let's seek to finish each piece well in the most excellent way allowing our past experiences, be they painful or wonderful, to inform the collection of marks and brushstrokes as we go along the way.

Blessings,

Tina

If you are reading this and this spoke to you, please feel free to reach out to me here .

"Overcoming in the Process" Part 3 of "6 words that changed my art forever"

Hey, If you are still hanging in there through this series, give me a shout right here.

I'm truly so glad you are here!

In the journal entry last week, I shared about making that first mark! A not so easy, at times, but so simple concept of breaking through the push back that almost always stops us from creating. A bit about fear and whole lot about overcoming in art, work, life, and more.

Painting the opposite of my pain (those glorious, life giving, 6 words), and Overcoming the push back in making that first mark have been 2 parts of my journey as an artist and a human being on this side of heaven that have informed the next piece I share with you in this journal post.

Read Part 1 and Part 2

"Overcoming in Process"

I, for a very short time in high school, was a long distance runner on the track team. Let me just say that I would never ever describe myself as an athlete or anything close to that. I laugh at the thought that I actually did this when I think about it.

Heart pounding, I approached the little line on the track next to the amazons with long legs and zero body fat. I dug in the ball of my starter foot as I was coached to do, leaned in and waited for the starter gun to go off which meant that first step accelerating me into a stride and rhythm that would carry me to the finish line a mile away was about to commence.

I heard it! Off I went! My, not so tall, legs did their thing, but I was lapped by those athletic chicks who seemed to actually enjoy this torment.

I never won a race, never came in second or third unless I count the time that there were only 3 of us running a 2 mile race.

Recounting this short season of my Freshman high school experience, I smile because I now, in my mid 50's, see the value of it and a bit of a comparison in current life.

I never won or placed, but I always finished.

• That's some grit that I never gave myself credit for having.

I may have been the one bringing up the rear in every single race, but what I learned in that season was so valuable.

• That is being teachable, another thing I didn't value at the time.

Not only did I finish, but despite having experienced the process, I showed up at the starting line for the next race.

• evidence of not thinking that what I had done before were failures

In creating art, making that first mark is a bit like hearing that starter pistol and pushing off to run. Now, you're in it! You're running....You are painting, making a series of decisions, interacting with your supplies and materials and praying all those decisions add up to the vision you began with. The goal being a worthy, sellable, well executed end result with a life giving message...that is, in my case, a visual encouragement for the one who will make it a part of their story.

This is the win for me. It's the ribbon, the trophy. It's my why.

Seeing someone connect with my art, knowing that it was uniquely created for them, even before I know them, is the ultimate.......... but the finish line, for this artist, is in the process.

The process isn't a competition against anyone but me and what might limit me, but that's my race to run.

Why would a runner who has never come in first show up at the starter line every time?

In thinking about this, I believe it's because what was happening during the run was more important to me than the ribbon I might receive at the end.

I found myself just as satisfied when I finished, having overcome, aches, tiredness, and out of breath moments, as the joy watching the "winners" receive those ribbons.

I would cheer and smile, even tear up.

I didn't think it was a weird thing until someone pointed out that, to them, it was.

It was weird to them because my ultimate goals were different than theirs.

It remains today that...yes, it's a win win when I step onto the track, get into the race, overcome the limiting thoughts, pressures, lies that sneak in, make marks, create fluid brushstrokes and see a vision come to life in a piece of art.

Overcoming in the process of it all added more depth and information to the final result.

That piece, that final resolved painting, becomes the ribbon that I get to present to someone else that is the reminder that they win.

I have been asked if I keep paintings that I've done and if it's hard to let them go.

I can honestly share that the painting is for me in the process, but when it's complete, it belongs to the one it was created for and I no longer have an attachment to it.

I can look at it in someone else's possession and smile, remember the process in which it was created, but rejoice over the fact that it belongs to the Collector.

Win, Win! Remembering the why and the win, carries us through the process and reminds us to act as overcomers because we are!

Blessings,

Tina

Part 4...Finishing Well